Friday, January 13, 2006

The Revealer: Poppa's Got A Brand New Sword

Another mad mullah, but this one is claiming he is a Christian.
This sheer nonsense preacher is reputed to have delivered Ohio for Bush.

You should know by now it was the voting machines gave Bush Ohio.

Ah, well.

The Revealer: Poppa's Got A Brand New Sword: "Fundamentalists get Freudian, for real.

'With the right
hand of my
Do you experience erectile dysfunction? Would you like a little more size? Pastor Rod Parsley wants to help -- he'll turn your 'male headship' into a deadly weapon with extra inches.

Pastor Rod is the fundamentalist feudal prince of Ohio, the bestselling preacher who tipped the Buckeye state for Bush in 2004. His strategy? Warning the citizenry that they would all go gay if they didn't beat back the homosexual agenda. Pastor Rod couldn't legally endorse Bush, but he pushed Christian conservative voters to the polls.

This past August, I reported that Pastor Rod was raising cash for holy war -- I mean, relief work -- in Sudan by offering an actual 27-inch sword, in exchange for a gift of $54 or more. Now, Pastor Rod's got a whole new sword to sell. And this one's ten inches longer, with a blade of steel and a 'gold-colored metal' handle inscribed with the cross. It's the 'SWORD OF THE KING,' promises Pastor Rod.

Just like the one Christ didn’t carry? Even better. This 'beautifully crafted' blade, writes Rod, is a 'replica' of King Arthur's. As in Excaliber, the magic sword Merlin told him to pull out of a stone. Sound like kid's stuff? No way. Who's going to tell a man packing 37 awesome inches of hard steel that he's lost in a fairy tale?

There's more. Don't worry about where to sheath your blade -- in a special email solicitation, Pastor Rod writes that it comes with a 'beautiful... mount.' And the best part of all? You get the whole package -- magic sword, mount, delusions of potency -- for only $41 dollars and ten cents, in honor of Isaiah 41:10 ('...yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.'). That's almost thirteen dollars less for ten more powerful inches of Christian manhood. And don't forget the gold-colored metal.

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