Forced marriage anyone?

I heard a rumour that Mr Blunket is due to be put in charge of the forced marriage unit in a Government reshuffle. It will be a big part of Blair’s renewed emphasis on Parenting Skills development.

Sadly Mr Blair does not seem to be listening to my reports which do their best to emphasise that parenting is more about who the parent is and how they live their lives than any set of parenting skills you can purchase from the New Labour Company Store. Jungian psychology has helpful things to say on the subject. The parent’s shadow often falls on the child. The child will look through the parents instructions to the being of the parent. But then that old analytical stuff is way out of fashion.

New Labour naturally believes in Behaviour Modification; pretty much any kind of manipulative technique when it comes to bringing in the vote. They are easy prey to the kind of psychologists who wrap their manipulative technologies in the cloak of science.

There is much to be learned from the great principles of responsible parenting found in good humanistic programmes. They have helped me be a better parent.

But what really counts is the example you set. Mr Blunket has given us all the best of all possible examples of how to misbehave in his private life. We must not take any notice of this whatever, since private life is sacred to this Government. We are forbidden to consider it or even write about it. Social workers and psychiatrists should have been called in to address the behaviour of the Blairs and Blunketts. Even when caught cheating the New Labour leaders go on boasting about their integrity. Blair pleads with us to believe he was mistaken and his integrity is not compromised.

Massive self deception may perhaps be an essential ingredient of parenting. We can trust New Labour to show us how it is done.

What about these forced marriages, you say? Apparently there is a lot of it about and you don’t have to be Muslim to indulge in it. As yet we have not heard that the reborn Christians of the Blair cabinet are demanding forced marriages as part of their parenting courses. Maybe that will come later. Perhaps they will go for the Sharia method where the woman does not even turn up to the wedding. All those runaway fathers could be rounded up and married to their children’s mother without her having to know at all. It is possible that they are against this kind of thing. But I expect them to change when they see the economic benefits it would bring.