Do great men and women make bad parents?
Is this parental shadow, or a change in our culture?
“The shadow is not necessarily all bad”, said Carl Jung, its inventor. A great man or woman, like a tall building, casts a long shadow, which naturally falls upon the children. My own father was a successful businessman and town mayor. It has not been easy to come out of the shadow and find a place in the sun, my own successful career. Today’s headlines are filled with stories of the dark deeds of leaders who are revered by many in this England. The sons of Thatcher and Windsor come from the best known families in the country. This morning they are in deep disgrace.
It is extraordinary news this morning for a blog about our changing English culture.
Some of my problems with H, my older daughter have been about politics. She was chosen by her peers at school as “most likely to be prime minister.” She was privately educated at one of the best performing schools in England on the National league tables. The school is famous for being the model for the comedy books on “St Trinians” rather than the production of political leaders, however. It is a girls-only school. The values among her school friends struck me as not merely right wing in relation to my own, which are libertarian, but neo-fascist. Our discussions came before Bush and Blair’s neo-conservatism, and anticipate them. I was appalled and continue to be appalled by the selfish individualism, arrogance and prejudice against the poor that H and her friends espoused.
Part of growing up is breaking away from your parents and their values. I have grown to accept of our conflict as an inevitable part of her growing up. As H reaches 22 years of age she is becoming a real adult and her views are moderating. She almost studied theology and medical ethics at university, and is deeply concerned with human moral concerns. Even she is becoming troubled by the values espoused by her new peer group at university. Radio 4 this morning calls this an age of narcissism. I fear it may become a new age of fascist dictatorship.
H would have preferred to go to a famous public school. Her academically top-grade independent day school lacks social cache. Having followed her father in failing twice to reach Oxford, she chose the place that the aristocrats who don’t make Oxford go to, Bristol. Which brings me at last to the day’s headlines. Prince Harry has been photographed at a private fancy-dress party dressed as a Nazi. While this may be a dangerous error in the eyes of the wider world, it will not have gone amiss with his peer group. H is a social climber who aspires to marry one of the social elite. (With her prize for the highest marks in England in psychology “A” level, and three other A grade passes, she is clearly in the intellectual elite.) Her target is Prince’s Harry’s social group, known by all as the “Ra’s”. This group is at best neo-conservative, at worst neo-fascist. Harry may be out of tune with political correctness, but he is well tuned in with his own kind. He would not have worn the uniform if this were not true. He probably expects to get away with it. He has apologised. Michael Howard wants more from him. He is Jewish, after all. The new home secretary made it very clear this morning he wanted the matter closed. It is too close to the new home of New Labour.
Ewan Blair is also at Bristol University. H knows him as a friend of a friend. The younger Blair has moved on from cannabis at school to heavy binge drinking at University. Curiously, that is the kind of behaviour Charles Clarke, the new Home Secretary came on the radio to condemn this morning. If Cabinet Responsibility still existed I might be tempted to say it is “do as we say” not “do as we do”. But Ewan is over 18 and not his father’s responsibility any more, is he? I am concerned that if you mix neo-fascism with drunken loutishness you have a very frightening cocktail indeed. The Government hopes that all night drinking will not increase binge behaviour.
The shadow cast on the son by Mr Blair seems to be a weak and inebriated one compared to the very deep dark and disturbing one that Margaret Thatcher’s son represents. All across the world the murderous scramble to secure dwindling oil supplies accelerates. This morning the young Thatcher has pleaded guilty to involvement in a coup to take over an oil rich African state. While Margaret Thatcher is famous for saying “There is no such thing as society”, her less intellectually gifted son appears to have developed this thesis further as indicating that there is no such thing as crime against society. Perhaps I misjudge him. I wait to hear an interview with him, where he claims to follow in the eminent footsteps of Blair and Bush, setting out with a coalition of the willing to overthrow an evil dictatorship in the name of freedom and democracy!
I will say nothing today of the terrifying shadow cast across the future of the planet by the sadly successful coup carried out on a much bigger country by the son of President George Bush. But I will dare to mention Mr Blair’s daughter. While his son’s behaviour has been reported in the press, his daughter has remained shrouded in secrecy. Could it be true that she attempted suicide last year, as the rumours have it? Could that be the reason Blair almost resigned? I would feel suicidal if I was a thoughtful teenager, whose father was a war criminal. If my father was responsible, in large part, for the death of 100,000 people who posed no military threat to my country, I would be deeply, deeply ashamed. Mr Blair appears determined to carry on, yet he looks morally weaker and weaker. Could it be that the dark shadow of the father has been illuminated by a bright light of goodness from underneath. The shadow is what we repress in our nature. It is sad that it appears Blair’s daughter must carry the burden of it for him.
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